Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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