4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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