is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
