It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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