Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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