i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
