How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would fuck him just for his dog
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