i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
