Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
