Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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