Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
