hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
