dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
