sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
