Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
