dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
