i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
