....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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