the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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