I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
