You don't have asthma, your pregnant
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No subtext here. People are naked.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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