he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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