So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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