The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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