Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
