They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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