I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's official drugs can't kill me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
