what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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