this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
