Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
