Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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