i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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