I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just high enough for therapy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
