He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
