are you still at the devil's house?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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