I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
