"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
