That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
