Buhtt sex?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
