I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize