I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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