When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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