Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
