Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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