Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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