Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
