If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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