after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
