right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize