Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
