i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
