Im at strip club and am horny
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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