You can't special order awesome
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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