She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
