I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
