Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
