girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Randomize