somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Found the puke drawer
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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