when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
