Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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