Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
