so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
