Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
