We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
