guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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