I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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